Chapter Seventy-One

Chapter Seventy-One

“EEEEEK!” The sharp screech jolted DJ from his resting position. He leapt and ran toward the sound to find Hanna flying in the air near EDJ, who was laughing hysterically. 

“What happened? What’s wrong?” DJ asked, his lance already primed for attack. 

“Sorry! I’m sorry,” Hanna said, trying to catch her breath. “I didn’t realize the ice around his face was already melted off. When I tried to move him, he said something, and it scared me.” 

EDJ’s boisterous laughter died down to a chuckle. “All I said was ‘hi’. I wasn’t even trying that time,” he explained. “You really only have two volume settings, don’t you? Why are you so jumpy? Or maybe I’m just that scary.” He chortled again. 

“Leave me alone,” Hanna said with a tired huff. She landed in the snow glowering at the Evil Other while DJ put the weapon away. 

“Now that’s not fair,” EDJ started, shaking the remaining ice and water from his head. “I’ve hardly said two words and you’re tired of me talking already.” As he was back in the cabin, he was still frozen from the shoulders down. At the moment, his face felt like it was on fire from the sharp biting of the wind, but the rest of his body was numb.

“I’ve had enough of your talking to last the rest of my life,” she muttered in brewing anger. “You could stay completely silent for the next hundred years and no one would miss you!” 

EDJ chuckled again. “Oh dear, are you trying to hurt my feelings?” he asked in amusement. 

“You don’t have any feelings,” Hanna snapped.

Does a feeling of inadequacy count? 

“I heard that!” EDJ turned to his Original. Low blow, he mentally criticized before returning a smirk. “She’s right though, I don’t have any feelings.” He glanced around his surroundings. “Why are we out in the snow? Say, that boulder looks awfully familiar… Finally give in and decide to take me back to my castle?” 

Almost entirely fueled by fury, Hanna grabbed the block of ice and dragged it into the open. “There! Look!” she shouted, pointing at the ruins. “There’s your stupid castle! Are you happy now?!” It took a moment for EDJ to really see the wreckage in front of him. Partly because it was still dark. Partly because he didn’t believe what he was seeing. The marvelous, beautiful, magnificent castle lay before him in heaps and crumbles. The towers, the parapets, the walls. All were fallen down, collapsed from the inside. All that work. All that planning. All reduced to smoldering, stinking garbage. The smirk was gone as EDJ continued to stare with wide eyes. 

“Oh, what's wrong? Got nothing to say?” Hanna mocked. “You were so full of words earlier, I couldn't get you to shut up! Now you're silent?! Oh, look at me, I’m the greatest, smartest, all-powerful, manipulative king of the world! Where's your kingdom now?! Gone! All gone! What are you without your castle and your soldiers and your control room?! Nothing! Just another traitorous, pathetic liar!”

DJ watched his Evil Other as Hanna’s verbal assault continued. EDJ remained silent as he stared ahead. Though his expression did not change much, his face and eyes somehow grew hollow. The thoughts DJ caught going through his EO’s head were broken. All I see are a thousand dreams piled dead in front of me… Ashes… Why does it always end in ashes… Every harsh word seemed to actively drain more and more life from him.

DJ turned to the frost woman. “Hanna, I think that’s-” 

“You with your stupid little traps and sharks and mazes and snakes and genetic abominations!” Hanna continued her rant, completely oblivious to DJ. She circled EDJ, arms swinging wildly as she spoke, constantly gesturing back to the ruins behind her. Her venom-laced, humiliating words spewed forth like a volcano erupting destruction and death. “Your fiery demon of smoke! Your idiotic plan to flood the Arctic Circle and your robots and annoying drones! The lights, the cameras, the cages, and the mind games! Always with the mind games! It’s all gone!” She paused only to take a breath as she continued jeering at him. “The best part is, we’re not done with you yet! Oh no! Not even close! As soon as we get Lui back, you’re going straight to jail! Do not pass go! Do not collect two hundred dollars!” She leaned into his face. “I will find the deepest, darkest, coldest pit on this good green earth to throw you into and make sure you never crawl out of it again! Never! Do you hear me?! Answer me! What do you have to say for yourself?!” 

EDJ did not say a single word. His eyes were empty and his face held no emotion whatsoever. He didn’t blink. He didn’t breathe. Unmoving. Unthinking. Unfeeling. He was a stone statue, sitting on the side of that mountain encased in ice for a millennia. Completely and utterly lifeless. DJ stepped between them. “That’s enough,” he said softly. 

“What?” Hanna glared up at him, as though he were taking the wrong side. “Am I wrong?! You know what he's done!” She pointed back at EDJ accusingly. “You know what he deserves!”

“I do know what he’s done,” DJ answered, voice quiet and composed. “Better than you do.” That got Hanna to stand down. She even took a few steps back. She suddenly remembered that she’d only been dealing with EDJ for a couple weeks. DJ’s been dealing with the Evil Other for years. “As far as what he deserves…” DJ glanced at his EO before he turned back to Hanna. “It isn’t whatever this is.” He took a step toward her and spoke quietly. “I understand you’re angry. I can see how this might seem righteous, but… it isn’t.” 

Hanna’s face was red. She went from glaring at DJ to glaring at the snow. “S-sorry,” she whispered. “I… I don’t know what came over me…” 

DJ let out an unexpectedly heavy sigh. He wondered how he ended up playing referee in a game where both sides were losing.

“How?” They both turned back to EDJ. He finally stopped staring at the pile of destruction and looked at them. “How did this happen?” 

“Well…” The Original ran a hand through his navy hair as he twisted to look at the ruins. “I was trying to access the intercom when all of a sudden the self-destruct sequence started.” 

“You?” EDJ’s eyes narrowed. “You destroyed my castle?” 

“Yeah.” DJ folded his arms and tucked them close, still trying to conserve heat. “Turns out I didn’t need an army. It wasn’t intentional.” 

The Evil Other looked back at the ruins. My entire empire... annihilated with incompetence…

“Why did you even have a self-destruct button?” Hanna asked, returning to the conversation in a slightly more civil manner. “Who does that?” 

“As chaotic and nonsensical as my actions might seem to you,” EDJ started. “I make it a point to install a kill switch in everything I build.” He spoke in a lighthearted manner, as though he wasn’t bothered by anything at all.

“Everything?” she repeated dubiously. 

“Everything,” he confirmed. “Wasn’t voted third-smartest supervillain for nothing.” Hanna scoffed and turned away. “Oh, don't act like that isn't an accomplishment,” he responded. “I'd like to see you do better.”  

“Why?” DJ asked. “Why make the castle self-destruct?” 

“It doesn’t matter why,” EDJ answered with a grin. “What matters is, it worked.” 

“How can you still be so smug about this?” Hanna asked, finding his lack of emotional response infuriating. “Does nothing faze you?” 

EDJ attempted to shrug. “Hey, we can’t all afford to lose our heads when things get heated, squeaky.” 

Hanna crossed her arms, glaring. “Funny, coming from the guy who nearly melted the fighting arena with pure rage.”

“So I lost my cool in that last fight,” he replied absently. “So what? I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of. Stolen, cheated, overtipped, returned library books... No one got hurt. No, that’s a lie. A lot of people got hurt, but nobody you knew, so what’s it matter? A little controlled burning is good for the soul. Where was I going with this? I feel like I was going somewhere…” His gaze drifted away with whatever point he was trying to make. 

Exhausted, cold, and having had enough of the nonsense, DJ took hold of the ice block and started dragging. “Can you help me pull him back to the campfire?” Hanna frowned, but did as requested without complaint. They arranged the block near the fire, but not near enough to melt too quickly. 

Once EDJ was in place and DJ was sitting comfortably by the fire again, Hanna muttered something about needing more firewood before leaving the guys and stomping off into the snowy darkness alone. The Original gave his Evil Other a tired look. 

“What?” EDJ asked, staring back. 

“Are we going to talk about this?” he asked.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” his EO answered nonchalantly. “I’m stuck in ice, Lui’s stuck in a mirror, and my home is in ruins.” DJ frowned, but the Evil Other continued. “This is all your fault, by the way. Everything was going perfectly fine for me until you showed up.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t drag us into this to begin with,” the lancer replied, brows furrowed. “You blew a hole through my apartment.” 

“I missed your apartment on purpose.” EDJ rolled his eyes. 

DJ exhaled slowly, watched the little fire in front of him crackle and pop for a few minutes before he spoke again. “What happened, Iul?” he asked softly. “It’s been so long since…” He clenched and unclenched his hands. “What happened to you?” 

“Maybe I don’t feel like telling you.” For once, the Evil Other didn't seem to mind his real name being used. He didn’t seem to mind anything at all. EDJ looked around at the rubble. According to the floor plan, they were probably sitting in what was left of his guard’s barracks, or somewhere close to it. “You know, there was a point where I had the fear and respect of everyone around me in this castle…” 

The Original poked at the fire with a stick. “Fools have no business playing kings.”

“Yet so many do. Honestly, what's one more?” the EO asked absently. Why can’t I be happy too?

DJ frowned and shook his head, throwing the stick into the fire. “Why?”

EDJ raised a brow at him. “Why what? You need to be more specific than that.” 

The Original turned to him, serious green eyes searching. “The cloning and duplication tech. What were you thinking? What were you trying to accomplish?” 

Iul’s expression softened. “...I…” A strange look crossed his face as his gaze drifted away for a second. “...I thought I could…” Just as quickly, his faroff look was replaced with an empty smile. “You know what? It doesn’t matter.” His polite, vacant smile stayed. “It probably wouldn’t have worked anyway.”

“Fine. Don’t tell me.” DJ turned back to the fire in annoyance, curling and tucking his limbs as close as possible as he shivered. “I’m probably better off not knowing.” 

“That, we can agree on, at least,” EDJ mumbled.